The night before the big day…

This is it, the night before my tummy tuck surgery. I’ve decided to barf out whatever emotions I have before the procedure unedited here in the hopes that it clears any “bad mojo” I may have in my body.

I’ve waited a long time to reach this point and failed so many times. I’ve tried so hard to erase the damage of my past, but how can you when it has come to define who you are? No. I only succeeded when I embraced what I am, changed what I didn’t like, and wore my past as if It was a badge, or a shield… 

Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe I should have just placed it on the shelf, put it aside. Whatever the case my strategy has worked so far. The biggest price I have paid is intimacy, letting people in where my most scarred emotions live hasn’t been easy. I have done it twice and been left wounded and vulnerable. It’s an issue i’ll have to revisit once I recover from this procedure.

I’ll post my before and after pictures in the next couple of days, but I’m not sure I have much else to say here until it’s finally done. A small part of me wanted to keep this private, an odd urge considering I am usually the first to unabashedly post about my lifestyle online, but I felt people need more reasons to be motivated, inspired, or to just see that the things they want can be done. It takes time, effort, and a lot of patience, but with baby steps it will be done.

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